Think Family.Net

Ashton’s been gone visiting family in west Texas for a week now. It’s been a busy week. I thought I would write her a letter and include pictures of all the happenings that have happened while she has been gone… (I’m sure she will be glad she missed them.)

Dear Ashton,

We all miss you very much, BUT we are glad that you are having fun square dancing, inner tubing, shopping, golfing, playing with baby goats, pizza baking, taco making, watching movies, and just plain relaxing! While you’ve been away Jax and I have been very busy.

First of all, Jax is taking very good care of your baby while you are gone. He has been giving her baths every night.

He’s also insisted on wearing your hat, almost every day. (Maybe it reminds him of his “SHISHIE”)

On Friday, I was cleaning out my office and Jax was playing in the living room as usual. I hear him giggling hysterically so I go to check on him. Here is what I found!!!

Jax had blanketed the entire living room wit baby powder. It took me and Carmen forever to clean this up. Our vacuum broke in the process. Ash, aren’t you glad you weren’t here? HA! I thought the shirt he was wearing on this day was very apropos considering his FATHER did this with AJAX when he was little.

Yesterday, I walked in and Jax was smearing diaper cream all over his lips and face…. Saying YUMM! I don’t think he got any in his mouth… Thank goodness! AGAIN… like father like son…. Kevin diaper creamed his poor brother from head to toe when he was this age. He cream the poor guys eyelids shut… I definately think genetics are playing a role in this!

Now, on to what you really wanted to see, my little Ash E. Poo… Your new bedding! Here it is! I hope you like it… I love you! I spent the ENTIRE day today cleaning out and cleaning up your room. I hung all your laundry and your room is spotless! (THANK YOU MOMMY!) I thought you could use a more grown up bedding set since you are going to be a 3rd grader soon!!!

Sheets…

Well, I need to go cook dinner. I love you and look forward to seeing you real soon.

Hugs and Kisses,

MOMMY

I went to the chiropractor last week because of a numbness in my arms. After we were done and were just chit chatting about what the plans would be… Ashton climbed up on the adjustment table and passed out! I mean, we were only talking for maybe 5 minutes. Ashton was out cold. What a NUT!!

Anyone who knows Jax, knows that he and sleep have never been great friends. He has always woken up every couple of hours searching for me. He’s always had to be held down to go to sleep. Whether it was in the high chair or carseat or in our arms… sleep just wasn’t something that he was going to do on purpose. Well, about 2 weeks ago we finally got him a twin bed and have been pretty consistent about making him sleep in it. Most nights I was having to lay with him until he fell asleep and then sneak off only to be woken up a couple of hours(if I was lucky) later to start the whole process over again. We’ve had a couple of good nights, but mostly not.

Then all of the sudden, two nights ago, I think he came to peace with the idea of sleeping alone in his bed. For the past two nights he has crawled in his bed, after his bath, around 730 saying “night night.” I’ve turned on his one and only favorite DVD - Sponge Bob and told him “night night” and that I’d check on him in a bit. I shut the door and leave the room. He lays there a while and when he starts to doze he jumps up and starts flipping the light on and off. He throws his blankets and pillows on the floor and puts his feet on the wall and kicks a little. After a couple of hours….he passes out. This I can handle… He’s not screaming as if someone just took his favorite toy away. He’s just restless. What’s super awesome is that last night and the night before… he didn’t wake up upset or get out of his bed until 630 am when Kev was leaving for work!!! I know to most people this is no big deal… but for us… 930- 630 is a HUGE accomplishment…

At this rate, I might just make it through his childhood without having to visit the insane asylum. It’s amazing how much better you feel when you get your rest!!! I hope it continues! Now let’s just pray that Kylie is a good sleeper…

Yes, I’m alive and well! It’s been so long since I’ve written. Things have been so busy around here…

• At the beginning of July we went to San Francisco for a week for Kevin’s grandmother’s funeral. That was a neat experience. I love the weather there.

• When we got home, my mother came for a visit. We shopped till we dropped and then tried to make some plan as to how I’m going to clean out my office/weight room and make it a baby’s room. You know… where to put the desk, the TV, the weights, and all the miscellaneous junk that has accumulated in here over time. That left me we a huge task and a huge mess that I am still trying to dig out from under it and figure out where to put another baby…
• On top of that, I’m just swamped with web design work….

Update on the kids

Jax:

• 22 months and STILL never stops moving…
• He has however been evicted from our bed and has his very own twin size big boy bed. He does pretty good. He still wakes up a couple of times a night and cries for me… I go and lay with him until he’s back to sleep and then go back to my bed…or sleep there…if I fall asleep. Man, I’m tired….
• He’s now taking a Gymboree class. He’s not much of a “group” person. He pretty much does his own thing until they break out the bubbles or the little purple clown.
• He’s saying quite a few new words and phrases such as oh-well, mine, GO, Ready-set-go, Natalia( NaTahyiah), bubble, Ashton(AhEEEY or Sissy) and baby… just to name a few. He knows a lot more… he just chooses not to say them most of the time.
• I’d like to say that potty training is in our near future so that we could get him out of diapers before the new baby… but I don’t think he’s anywhere near ready yet….
• His eating habits are getting better… He’s still eating ALOT of fruit and downing the soy milk like you wouldn’t believe..but now he eats chicken and steak and CORN on the COB!! He still won’t try the normal things kids love like mac and cheese and potatoes….I guess I shouldn’t complain.
  

Ashton:

• is getting ready for a big 2 week trip to west Texas. She’s going to visit Grandy, Nana, and Unca Bubba in August. I’ve heard them speak of trips to a huge playground and out to the farm to see her goat who has had babies recently( I think). There will be lots of golf and boating… She is super thrilled.
• She will be starting the 3rd grade at the end of August at a new school that is within walking distance. She is so excited to walk to school. I will be meeting her half way for a while.. I’ll walk to where I can see the school. I just don’t trust all those nuts out there and I need the exercise.
  

The new baby-

• Who we are calling Kylie Marie (unless something was hiding on the ultrasound).
• I think we are going to do a 3D ultrasound in a few weeks.
• I’ve sold some of Jax’s clothes and bought some girly things, but not a lot. I’m still a little scared!
• I’m now 23 1/2 weeks and she’s kicking like crazy.
• MOST of the morning sickness is gone…FINALLY.
• I have developed some weird issue where something is pinched and my arms go numb when I sleep or type (like right now). It’s quite annoying and painful sometimes. I’m seeing if a chiropractor can fix it. She thinks it’s pregnancy induced. I’ve been once and I think it’s helped a little. We’ll see.

That’s all I can think about right now. I have lots of random pics on my phone to share soon. Look forward to those. I promise I won’t wait another month to post again. Sorry!!! I’m off to the chiropractor now…

This is hilarious!  There is not one dirty word in it, and it is funny. Thanks to my mother-in-law for sharing.

The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, “Well, I’m off now. The man should be here soon.”

Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. “Good morning, Ma’am”, he said, “I’ve come to…”

“Oh, no need to explain,” Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed, “I’ve been expecting you.”

“Have you really?” said the photographer. “Well, that’s good. Did you know babies are my specialty?”

“Well that’s what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat”.
After a moment she asked, blushing, “Well, where do we start?”

“Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room floor is fun. You can really spread out there.”

“Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn’t work out for Harry and me!”

“Well, Ma’am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I’m sure you’ll be pleased with the results.”

“My, that’s a lot!”, gasped Mrs. Smith.

“Ma’am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I’d love to be In and out in five minutes, but I’m sure you’d be disappointed with that.”

“Don’t I know it,” said Mrs. Smith quietly.

The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. “This was done on the top of a bus,” he said.

“Oh, my God!” Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat.

“And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with.”

“She was difficult?” asked Mrs. Smith.

“Yes, I’m afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get a good look”

“Four and five deep?” said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with amazement.

“Yes”, the photographer replied. “And for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in.”

Mrs. Smith leaned forward. “Do you mean they actually chewed on your, uh…equipment?”

“It’s true, Ma’am, yes.. Well, if you’re ready, I’ll set-up my tripod and we can get to work right away.”

“Tripod?”

“Oh yes, Ma’am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It’s much too big to be held in the hand very long.”

Mrs. Smith fainted.

We stopped by to drop something off at Maimie’s house this morning. As we pulled up, I noticed Carmen standing inside the house looking out the window with her phone in hand. She ran out and told me, “Not, get out of car, mom - SNAKE!” I looked around to make sure the coast was clear.. I got out and she explained to me that a huge snake was in the bushes. I got Jax out of the car and we made a mad dash for the front door… Well, as mad of a dash as a pregnant woman could. (Picture - Hippo running from a lion or something)

Animal control was called. 2 very brave women were sent out. Animal control explained that most snakes in our region are not poisonous. She proceeded to walk through and wrestle her way through the bushes looking for the illusive snake. There is no way you could have gotten me to go in any bushes LOOKING for a snake.. even if it was PROBABLY not poisonous. The key word is PROBABLY. What if it was, and it was is lost or something? Poison aside - it more than likely still has large sharp and pointy fangs that would probably not feel too swell, were you to accidentally piss it off or something.

Anyways…  It was a 4 foot rat snake, so it wasn’t poisonous. She caught the snake and held it for Jax to touch. He wasn’t too sure. He would only get so close then he would run off. It was the funniest thing. His favorite part was when it flickered it’s tongue at him. He mimicked it perfectly. I wish I could have gotten a picture of that… but I didn’t have my camera out at that point. As the lady was packing the snake up in a pillow cloth to take it to where ever snakes are safe… it made a final attempt at freedom via a HOLE in the pillow cloth… We all screamed and ran off… She caught the snake again. It’s a good thing she found out about the hole before she tossed it under the seat in her truck… OR It would have been an interesting ride to snakeville.

 My mother in law sent this to me and I thought it was hilarious. I just had to share.

NUN GRADING PAPERS Can you imagine a nun sitting at her desk grading papers, trying to keep a straight face and maintain her composure! These excerpts are from a Catholic elementary school test about miracles in the old and new testaments. The following statements about the bible were written by children. They have not been retouched or the spelling corrected.

1. In the first book of the bible, guinessis. God got tired of creating the world so he took the sabbath off.
2. Adam and eve were created from an apple tree. Noah’s wife was joan of ark. Noah built andark and the animals came on in pears.
3. Lots wife was a pillar of salt during the day, but a ball of fire during the night.
4. The jews were a proud people and throughout history they had trouble with unsympathetic genitals.
5. Sampson was a strongman who let himself be led astray by a jezebel like delilah. 
6. Samson slayed the philistines with the axe of the apostles.
7. Moses led the jews to the red sea where they made unleavened bread which is bread without any ingredients.
8. The egyptians were all drowned in the dessert. Afterwards, moses went up to mount cyanide to get the ten commandments.
9. The first commandments was when eve told adam to eat the apple.
10. The seventh commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery. 
11. Moses died before he ever reached canada then joshua led the hebrews in the battle of geritol.
12. The greatest miricle in the bible is when joshua told his son to stand still and he obeyed him.
13. David was a hebrew king who was skilled at playing the liar.  He fought the finkelsteins, a race of people who lived in biblical times.
14. Solomon, one of davids sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines. 
15. When mary heard she was the mother of jesus, she sang the magna carta.
16. When the three wise guys from the east side arrived they found jesus in the manager. 
17. Jesus was born because mary had an immaculate contraption.
18. St. john the blacksmith dumped water on his head.
19. Jesus enunciated the golden rule, which says to do unto others before they do one to you.  He also explained a man doth not live by sweat alone.
20. It was a miricle when jesus rose from the dead and managed to get the tombstone off the entrance.
21. The people who followed the lord were called the 12 decibels.
22. The epistels were the wives of the apostles.
23. One of the oppossums was st. Matthew who was also a taximan.
24. St. paul cavorted to christianity, he preached holy acrimony which is another name for marraige.
25. Christians have only one spouse.  This is called monotony.

While we were in Mexico we did a lot of swimming. One of those HOT days, after a dip in the pool, I was getting ready to run Jax through the shower. I took his clothes and his diaper off and realized that I needed to make pee pee in a bad way. So I put Jax outside on the patio in a chair next to Kevin. I told Kev I’d be right back and ran to do my business. After finishing, I decided to gather Jax’s necessities for the bath.

All of the sudden I hear Kevin yelling, “DIAPER!! DIAPER! He’s POOPING!”

I hurried, as fast as I could, to get there with the diaper… It was too late. Much to my surprise, I walk around the corner and see Kevin holding a handful of POOP! His mother walks up and we are both laughing so hard that neither of us could help him. I was trying not to wet the floor.

Kevin then said, “laugh it up… at least it didn’t get on the nice chair.” For that, I am glad. It would have been hard to clean up. Needless to say, Kev felt like he did his duty and granted me diaper privileges for the rest of the trip… or he tried anyways!

It was a knee slapper…. Guess you had to be there! I wish I could have gotten to my camera in time… It was truly a Kodak moment! The look on Kevin’s face was priceless… Jax thought it was funny too.

My grandmother sent this to me this morning in light of my new found love for Mayo.

Hellmann’s Mayonnaise - a bit of history

 

Most people don’t know that back in 1912, Hellmann’s mayonnaise was
Manufactured in England. In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars
Of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico, which was
To be the next port of call for the great ship after its stop in New
York.

This would have been the largest single shipment of mayonnaise ever
Delivered to Mexico. But as we know, the great ship did not make it to
New York. The ship hit an iceberg and sank, and the cargo was forever
Lost.

The people of Mexico, who were crazy about mayonnaise, and were eagerly
Awaiting its delivery, were disconsolate at the loss. Their anguish was
So great, that they declared a National Day of Mourning, which they
Still observe to this day.

The National Day of Mourning occurs each year on May 5th and is known,
Of course, as Sinko De Mayo.

WHAT??? You expected something educational from me?

Thanks Grammy!!!

I usually take Ashton for ice cream after school on Fridays. Today we ran through McDonald’s and she ordered a chocolate dipped cone. This is what she received.

I think it was the saddest ice cream cone that I have ever seen. I probably should have handed it right back to the guy at the window… but he was proud of his creation… so I didn’t bother.

I just thought I would share.