Think Family.Net

I am at a loss at what to do.. Since the meeting with the preschool on Monday I’ve felt nauseous and felt like crying every time I thought about or talked about Jackson going to school next Tuesday. I kept thinking that I was emotional because my baby is starting school.. but frankly.. .I don’t think that is the case. I am excited to find something that will help him. I don’t mind leaving him for a few hours each day if it will help foster independence and growth. So.. I decided I would do what the principal said and “drop by anytime” yesterday to actually see the class. I had to drop off papers so I asked the secretary if I could just maybe walk down to the PPCD class and peep through the window. I told her I didn’t want to disturb the class… that I just needed to “see” it. She told me that I couldn’t. She said that I had to set up an appointment ahead of time to do that. She then rudely questioned me as to why I would want to check it out ahead of time. She then told me to hold on so that she could go get the principal to tell me why I couldn’t do what I was asking… She was so rude.. that I bailed and left in tears. They called me back because a form was missing..

So today I decided that I wasn’t going to let that rude woman get the best of me… and I called and left the principal a voicemail. I didn’t hear from her so I returned with the form and was then asked why I left yesterday. I told her I thought she was rude and tried to explain that I understood that if I was trying to meet up with the teacher then I would make an appointment… but I wasn’t so I didn’t see the point. I then asked to speak with the principal. Another secretary came up and started asking again, WHY I needed to see things ahead of time and couldn’t I just see when I drop him off. I was then told the principal was on the phone and made to wait. It was taking too long and had to go get Ashton from school, so I told them I had to go. She asked if I wanted the principal to call me and I said, sure.. .but I’ve left voicemail already and haven’t heard from her… Then the principal called me later and left me a message saying if she had received voicemail she would have returned my call… and then she started quoting district policy saying that a parent is ONLY allowed a classroom visit once per semester.. but that she has made exceptions in the past.. .yada yada and she’d be sure I received a copy of the districts policy next time I was in the office… I think the secretary is screening her calls… I emailed her this afternoon… apologizing for misunderstanding the whole drop by anytime thing…. and am waiting to hear back from her… I’m completely floored by the way the secretaries talked to me… and the way this whole situation has escalated….
Something is not setting right with this whole thing… my mommy gut is going off and I just want to see the school and the class in motion with kids there..I know I am supposed to take Jackson up there to meet the teacher on Monday… which is a student holiday.. but there won’t be any kids there… and it won’t be the same.  I hate to get him all excited to go to school to just turn around and leave because the kids are kept in a closet with duct tape or they are all in wheel chairs and can’t speak(just don’t think that would be positive to be put in with only that type of disabled kids..) I didn’t want to disturb the class… just peep through the window for a second.. All I know about the program is what they are telling me… and them being so strict about not letting me see inside the school ahead of time… scares me… If he was 9 or 10… and normal… I wouldn’t worry so much… but he’s freakin 3….and has a tendency to bring out the desire for duct tape and a straight jacket in me.. his own mother… and i love him… I just need that warm fuzzy feeling that things will be alright… before I commit to telling him… he’s going to school in the morning….and getting him all excited…

AND…. if I take my special 3 year old to school there… they can’t tell me that I can’t drop by with out warning anytime I please…. I don’t think that’s right. I don’t intend to hover or stop in all the time… I just want the right to and the access. He’s only 3 and couldn’t tell me if he was being treated wrong…  I don’t want to see how the teacher acts when they are warned that a parent is on their way… I want reality.. you know?